Amazing Career Success, Breakthroughs, Kathy Caprino, Support for Change, Videos, Work You Love What Do I Do When My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me To Make Changes? Written by: Kathy Caprino

Welcome to Episode #7 of my weekly video blog Work You Love!

Today, I’m addressing Evelyn’s question about how to handle an unsupportive spouse who resists your making the changes you long to in your career.

Evelyn asks:

“I want career coaching now, however my husband is not a supporter.  I’m at a point where I want to start and own my own business but he is very risk averse and doesn’t want to intentionally gamble with the idea.

I am in a rut, I’m exhausted and I want to get re-energized and once again know that the work I do matters or offers me satisfaction. I am a middle manager in my career but also a wife, mother, community leader, active church member who feels like her job is sucking the life out of her. My husband thinks because of the uncertainty of times I should be happy I have a job that pays 6 figures, and I appreciate that, but I know that if I don’t figure out my career, reinvent myself or do something I’m going to burn out completely and my career reputation will be ruined.

Do you have any pointers that would help me convince my husband to believe you could help me improve my career outlook and pull me back from the edge of career suicide. He thinks it’s a waste of our hard earned money for no real gain.”


Here’s my take:



The key messages from today’s post are:

1) Don’t try to “convince” your spouse.  Just communicate powerfully, authoritatively, and masterfully that you can’t continue the way you are.  Share in a compelling way that it’s time to make some form of positive change, and you’d like his/her support to do it.  But remember – you don’t need permission to take control of your life.

2) Figure out how important this career shift is to you now.  If it’s critical, prioritize it highly, and do what it takes to create the changes you long for.

3) Remember – you don’t have to risk everything to bring about the shifts you need to be happier in your career.

Here’s a tweetable for you:

CLICK TO TWEET: Become the master of your own ship. Don’t let others dictate what you need, and what you can have.  @kathycaprino #WorkYouLove

It’s up to you – no one can do this for you.

Does your spouse support you in making the changes you desire in life and work?  How do you handle it? Share your candid thoughts below.

Thank you for watching Work You Love, and many happy breakthroughs. See you next week!


(For more on building a successful career you love, join me on November 19th from Noon to 1:00 pm for my FREE teleclass Breakthrough To Your BOLD Plan for More Happiness, Success and Reward.   Find out how to take your career to the next level of success, happiness, and reward!)


7 thoughts on “What Do I Do When My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me To Make Changes?”

  1. Loved the way you answered that question! Your analysis and advice is very sincere and easy to apply, I picked up quite a few gems fro this video alone. Thank you 🙂

  2. Thanks, Atiyya. I’m so glad the post resonated with you. Hope these tips are helpful and easy to apply for you. Keep me posted! and thanks for sharing.

  3. Kathy,

    I’ve just begun to explore your website and blogs and you have accurately summarized a lot of how I am feeling already, within 2 days! I love what you say in this blog about unintentionally sabotaging where you currently are instead of taking control and making a change. I feel that is where I am at right now. I know that I need a change, I haven’t yet figured out which direction to take. I’m going to continue reading and following (I also just purchased your book). I’m sure I will be in contact soon looking for advise. All the best.


  4. Hi Ciara – Thanks for your comments. I’m glad the posts are resonating, and help you identify that now is the time to make the changes you want. When you’re ready for some hands-on help, do check out my Amazing Career Project 16-week video course – it will move you forward! All best wishes in this exciting new chapter. K

  5. Hi Kathy,
    Even though your blog is about empowering women to make positive changes to their career and life, as a man I found your blog to be equally relevant to the opposite gender as well. I am in a situation where my spouse is not very supportive of my career change. The information you provided gave me a real understanding where my spouse is coming from. There is no way I can extract those information from her regardless of how much effort is put in. Thanks for your insightful blog.

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