Part of Kathy Caprino’s series “Living Your Highest and Best”
Today, I’d like to talk about something we’ve all felt but rarely want to admit: jealousy. That uncomfortable, green-tinged emotion that creeps in quietly—or crashes in loudly—when we see someone else achieving and experiencing something we deeply desire.
It’s not fun to feel, and it can be highly unproductive—even damaging—if we let it fester. But jealousy isn’t just a negative emotion. It’s a powerful internal signal that something meaningful is asking for your attention.
In my years of coaching professionals at all levels—as well as my time as a therapist and in my corporate life—I’ve seen how jealousy can be both a roadblock and a catalyst. It becomes a roadblock when it traps us in constant comparison, making us feel “less than.” But it can also be a call to growth, nudging us to claim something more for ourselves.
The key is to recognize it, understand it, and use it as fuel for meaningful change.
Here are 5 ways jealousy may be holding you back—and how to reframe it as a sign that you’re ready to grow:
1. Jealousy Distracts You from Your Own Path
When jealousy creeps in, it pulls our attention away from our own goals. We start comparing our behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s highlight reel on Instagram or LinkedIn. That kind of obsessive comparison drains your creativity, confidence, and clarity.
What it’s telling you: You may not be fully aligned with your own vision of success. Instead of fixating on others and feeling like you’re falling short, ask:
What do I truly want for my life and career?
What small step can I take today that embodies the energy of that life?
Let your answers bring your focus back to your own unique path.
2. It Erodes Your Confidence
Jealousy often reveals deeper self-doubt. When someone else is succeeding in ways we wish we were, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy. We begin to question our talent, our decisions, or even our worth.
What it’s telling you: There’s a gap between your true value and how you currently see yourself. To begin closing that gap, reflect on your strengths and accomplishments. Write down three things you’re most proud of in your career—and three more achievements or experiences in your life overall that you’re most joyful about.
Confidence begins by recognizing and celebrating the wins you have achieved, and the strengths that helped you get there.
3. It Keeps You Stuck in Scarcity Thinking
Jealousy often grows from a belief that there’s not enough success, recognition, or opportunity to go around. That someone else’s win is your loss. But that mindset simply isn’t true and it thwarts your progress.
What it’s telling you: You’re operating from fear rather than abundance. Instead, remind yourself: there’s room for everyone to thrive. When someone else achieves something you want, let it inspire you.
Study their journey, learn what worked, and start taking small, intentional steps to create similar outcomes in your own life.
4. It Masks Your True Desires
Jealousy reveals what you secretly (or not-so-secretly) long for. If you feel envious of a colleague’s promotion, a friend’s business success, or someone’s financial freedom—it’s because something in that picture speaks to your deeper desires.
What it’s telling you: You’re ready to pursue a new goal or dream. Use jealousy as a guide. Ask:
What is this feeling trying to show me about my own aspirations? Do I really want what they have specificlly, or do I long for a particular aspect of a quality I see in their life?
Then, take one small, bold step toward making that dream your reality. Chances are, you don’t want exactly what they have—you want your own version of greater freedom, success, connection, and impact.
5. It Prevents You from Building and Sustaining Genuine Connections
When jealousy takes over, it becomes hard to celebrate others—or develop and nurture authentic relationships. You might withdraw, judge, or isolate yourself, which only deepens the disconnection.
What it’s telling you: It’s time to shift from competition to collaboration and connection. Reach out to the person you’re jealous of and congratulate them. If it feels right, ask for their advice or mentorship.
You might be surprised by how open and generous people can be when you approach them with authenticity and humility.
Transforming Jealousy Into Growth
So how do you move from feeling stuck in the discomfort and pain of jealousy to using it as a tool for growth and joy?
Start here:
- Acknowledge the feeling. Don’t shame yourself for feeling jealous. It’s a natural human emotion, and pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make it disappear.
- Identify the root cause. What exactly are you jealous of? Is it the recognition, the creative freedom, the stability, or something else?
- Take inspired action. Once you know more clearly what you desire, create a plan to pursue it in your own way. Even small, intentional steps—especially those that stretch you—can lead to big transformation.
- Practice gratitude. Shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance by recognizing all you’ve already created and experienced that makes your life rich and meaningful. Every morning, before you launch into your day, bring to mind 5 things you’re most grateful for in that moment, no matter how big or small.
- Seek support. If jealousy continues to hold you back, consider working with a coach or mentor to help you uncover blind spots and build more sef-trust, self-acceptance and confidence.
Remember: jealousy isn’t something to hide from—it’s a sign that you’re ready for more. When you listen to it with compassion and curiosity, not shame or denial, it can lead you to breakthroughs, clarity, and empowered growth.
Here’s to turning envy into empowerment—and taking the “finding brave path” toward the life that’s truly meant for you.
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If this resonates and you’re ready for deeper support to create the career and life you truly want, I’d love to help. Visit kathycaprino.com and explore my Career Help page to learn more.
And if you’re ready to build unshakable confidence and overcome the hidden barriers holding you back, check out my book The Most Powerful You and the companion 8-module course at mostpowerfulyou.com—designed to help you rise, lead, and thrive.
