Part of Kathy Caprino’s series “Finding Brave to Live and Work Better”
One of the most frequently asked questions I hear in my coaching work is this:
“Kathy, where do I find wonderful mentors and sponsors, and other people who can help me achieve what I want? There’s no one in my life who is knowledgeable or experienced in the direction I want to pursue, or whom I feel comfortable asking for help.”
Below is an easy 3-step plan to help you access and receive the powerful support, guidance, and help you need to take your life and livelihood to the next level and fulfill your highest visions.
Step 1: Understand more clearly who you are and what you want to be in the world
Although most people don’t recognize this, there is so much amazing help available all around you waiting to be tapped. All you need to do is ask. But to make this assistance as effective as possible, you first have to gain more awareness about who you are and what you want to achieve and experience, with clarity and purpose. And you need to know the WHY behind it – the driving fuel and vision — so that you can feel and communicate the passion you have for this new direction or endeavor in a way that engages others.
As we head into the New Year, it’s very helpful to take the time to sit privately with yourself, distraction free, and assess honestly and deeply where you’ve been, and where you’d like to go – as a professional, an individual, a role model and inspiring member of your family and community, and as a highly contributive participant in our society and world.
(Feel free to download my free Career Path Self-Assessment survey to help you in the process and use my new ‘Kathy Caprino AI‘ digital clone to ask any career and professional growth questions you have.)
Take the time this week to conduct a thorough “Year In Review.”
Why should you do this? Because if you want real change in your life and career, you have to do the inner work first, to:
• See things in your life with fresh, new eyes
• Gain awareness of what you’re truly capable of and also what’s tripping you up
• Shift how you operate in the world to experience more confidence and positive impact, and stop repeating your chronic mistakes
• Reframe the way you view “progress” and growth
• Get empowering outside help that is the right kind of help
• Finally, believe in yourself without fail, and trust in your capacity to change and grow
Below is a list of important questions to explore deeply and answer about last year and the upcoming one.
What’s been the best, and why?
1. What are you most proud in terms of what you achieved, accomplished or brought into being this year – in life and work?
2. What did these achievements or actions in turn make possible – for you, your family, your organization, your financial situation, and your health and well-being, for others? Why did they matter so much to you?
3. What brings happy tears to your eyes just thinking about it today?
What’s been the hardest?
4. What event or experience represented the “worst” of the year, and why exactly?
5. What action(s) do you want to eradicate or release from your behavior forever?
6. What makes you feel ashamed and “less than,” or even toxic to others?
7. What brings pangs of shame or humiliation when you think about it – ways you behaved that you know didn’t reflect the goodness and compassion inside of you?
What do you want to accentuate and amplify in your life next year?
8. What outcomes or achievements do you want to build on next year?
9. What parts of yourself do you wish to expand and strengthen, and let out in the world?
10. What role models and supportive people do you want to connect with more deeply?
Who has been most helpful?
11. Who are the top three helpers whom you’d like to acknowledge?
12. Who has gone above and beyond in their efforts to assist you in a goal or important outcome?
Who needs to be removed from your life?
13. Who has been really unsupportive, nasty or cruel and disrespectful to you, and needs to be let go of if you’re going to move forward the way you long to? (Perhaps your narcissistic boss, finally?)
What are your top priorities?
14. What priorities did you honor well this year?
15. What priorities did you neglect or turn your back on?
16. What new values and priorities have emerged for you this year that you are committed to honoring?
What are your exciting stretch goals?
17. What goals did you set for yourself in 2016 that you met?
18. What important goals did you fail to achieve, and why?
19. What new, BIG stretch goals can you set that will be juicy, compelling and fulfilling to reach?
Knowing all this, what is your highest vision of your future self?
20. Whom do you wish to connect with, and build stronger, more loving relationships with?
21. Finally, who do you want to become in this next year?
Step #2: Enlarge Your Sphere
Now that you know all this about yourself, you’re ready to move forward in a more confident, empowered way. It’s time to enlarge your sphere – of influence, connection, and support.
There are many ways you can begin to connect with new people who will inspire you, including:
• Take a class to learn a skill you’ve been longing to master.
• Actively support (in person) a volunteer cause that touches your heart.
• Join new networking and professional groups that focus on the area you care most about.
• Attend industry association meetings and conferences in the field that you’re excited about.
• Follow 50 influencers and thought leaders on LinkedIn or other social media platforms who are rocking it in the area you dream to be involved in, and comment on and share their work.
• Join 20 new LinkedIn groups and start actively participating in their discussions.
• Ask to run or support a project in another division of your company that would thrill you.
• Think about 5 people in your life who are highly connected and ask them if they know anyone who might be helpful to speak with.
Connect With A Helpful Mentor And Sponsor
Another way to expand your influence is to find both a mentor and sponsor to help you. Much has been written about how best to do this (and the key differences between a mentor and a sponsor), but I’d offer these tips again:
• Don’t reach out to a stranger for this – connect with someone in your workplace or field to whom you’ve already demonstrated your potential, and ask them a question. See how that goes and if it can organically develop into a mutually-beneficial relationship where you can help each other
• Identify someone senior in your workplace whom you admire and trust. Ask if you could take them to lunch and have a chat with them about their professional trajectory – how they found their best career path and what helped them on their way.
• If there’s no one in your current sphere who could serve as a helper to you, then reach out to someone whom you met in your sphere-enlarging activities (see above)– a wonderful new acquaintance whom you resonate with and like a great deal, who also has the know-how to offer some guidance and help.
(For more tips on this, check out Chapter 4 of my book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths to Career Bliss, which covers key ways to overcome Power Gap #4 – one of the 7 damaging power and confidence gaps that hold us back from careers and lives of joy and purpose).
Embrace new approaches to forging positive relationships with wonderful allies and a strong support system of mentors, sponsors and “ambassadors” who can help you create what you long to.
Here’s more about that, from my Finding Brave podcast, Episode 127 on overcoming our tendencies to isolate from influential support:
#Step 3: The Brave Ask
The final step is the brave ask. Whether this is asking for a testimonial or endorsement on LinkedIn, or requesting a coffee meeting to talk about a new direction, or asking if this individual will help you craft a business plan – whatever the ask, there are five important steps to take to make it successful.
- When you connect with someone who’s kindly offering their time, don’t jump in and start talking all about yourself. Form a bond, a connection – make it an enjoyable give-and-take flow and experience so the person can get to know the heart and soul of you, and can feel why it would be a positive endeavor in their life to help you.
- Share openly why you respect and admire them. Explain how you find them inspirational – what they’ve done and contributed and how they act and communicate in the world that enlivens you and helps you think more expansively about who you are and what you want.
- Then, when the time is right, in as clear and concise a way as possible, ask for what you’d like – and explain the “why” behind it. Tell them what you’re passionate about, and the visions you have for making a difference in the world and at work, and share where you feel a bit stuck.
- Ask their permission to pose one key question of them that you feel would be very helpful.
- Finally, after they’ve shared their guidance and offered assistance to you, be generous and think of them. Offer to be of help in return – in any way that might be beneficial. Remember, even though you might feel you have nothing to give, you do.
Take these steps over and over in your life, and you’ll find that amazing guidance is right there at your fingertips, just waiting to support you to achieve your biggest visions.
For additional career and leadership growth support, join Kathy in her 1:1, private Career & Leadership Breakthrough program or her “Build Your Confidence and Impact at Work” program today.
And for instant, 24/7 answers to your most pressing career and professional growth questions, subscribe to Kathy’s new digital coaching clone – Kathy Caprino AI. Trained by over 2.5 million words that Kathy has published that have reached over 41 million readers/listeners, ‘Kathy AI’ moves you forward fast by providing expert guidance, support and answers just when you need them most. CLICK HERE to learn more and subscribe annually for great bonuses including hands-on, live support from Kathy.
