Inspiration for Change, success, Uncategorized, Videos, Work You Love Let Go of What You Hate To Make Room For What You Love Written by: Kathy Caprino

Welcome to Episode 11 of Work You Love!

Today, I’d like to share about the idea that, in order to build a successful, rewarding career we love, we have to proactively move away from doing work that drains and demoralizes us.

How do we let go of what we hate, and what kind of outcomes are possible when we do?

Check out the video below for answers to that, and for a recent true story from my own life of how letting go of work I didn’t like created the space, opportunity, and energy for work I love:


The key takeaways from today’s video are:

1. Determine what you want to let go of, specifically.

2. Identify what you want to do more of – what you love.

3. Commit yourself to creating new opportunities to do what you love.

4. Be open – don’t overly-attach to what it has to look like.

For more information on letting go, check out my Forbes post Why Letting Go Of What You Hate Is Essential To Building a Career You Love.

Here’s a tweetable for you:

If your plate is overly full with work you hate, you’ll never do work you love.  Be brave; let go. @kathycaprino

Click to tweet:

See you next time!

What work are you ready to move away from?


25 thoughts on “Let Go of What You Hate To Make Room For What You Love”

  1. Hi Kathy, thanks so much for your video blog on letting go of work you hate to open yourself up to work you love. I have done just that, resigning from my job 2 months ago. I loved parts of my job and hated other parts. No matter how many times I requested resources to do the menial parts of the job my bosses turned them down. I took on more and more work with little support. Finally I said enough! I am now consulting my talents back to the organisation and look forward to picking and choosing my jobs. I am so inspired to hear about how 30 days after giving up a writing job you disliked, you made more than you would have in that job for a year. Wishing all your readers/viewers freedom, autonomy and empowerment in 2014!

    1. Thanks for sharing, Felicity. So glad you took the bold step to let go of what you hated to make room for what you love. It takes courage and faith and the right action steps to move forward – sounds like you’ve got them! All best.

  2. Hi Kathy, I’ve just committed to giving up the job which has been holding me back from moving forward for the last three years. I hadn’t reached the poi nt of “hate” but would have done before much longer. As a teacher, that would not have been a good place!
    Now I shall use your other three strategies to help keep me moving forward with what I love to do. Already, a number of new projects are in the pipeline. So I know what you say is completely true!
    Keep up the good work, I thoroughly enjoy your Forbes column.
    All the best, Michelle.

    1. Thanks so much, Michelle. I’m glad these strategies resonate with you, and wonderful to hear new, exciting projects are in the pipeline. Kudos!

  3. Thank you for other sorts of insightful web site. The area different might I buy that will variety of information and facts printed in such a best fashion? I own a challenge that we’re simply at this moment managing upon, and I’ve experienced the design outside pertaining to these kinds of details.

  4. Hi Kathy,
    Though I couldn’t watch the video, there was something I did today that I’m proud of. I was able to ignore a very silly and annoying comment today and I am happy I did cos I felt at peace afterwards.
    Thanks to you.

  5. Dear Kathy,
    I am a retired music teacher and now have the time to work on something I love. I don’t have things in my life that I hate, but I often waste time doing things that won’t advance what I love doing. I also procrastinate a lot. I am a composer, trombonist and conductor. I want to fill my wasted time periods with creative composition periods which will help me become a better and more well-known composer. I have been making many contacts on Linkedin with instrumentalists, vocalists, and ensembles all over the world. Some of these contacts may be interested in playing some of my compositions or having me write some music for them to play. In this way, I will become more involved as a composer and better known. These opportunities will lead hopefully to more opportunities I hope.
    Thanks for your help in reorganizing my life and my priorities.

  6. Dear Kathy

    I am so appreciative for all the material you have readily available for people like me.
    I am enjoying your advise.
    I would like to ask a question, in my 21 years in corporate, I find myself looking closely at people that have solid support from brothers and fathers and mothers and spouses compared to those that do not have support. Relating it to woman, Somehow i see that those females that have great relationships with their brothers and fathers have great relationships in both personal and corporate lives. Whereas those that do not have that support and falling back on just battles to get through. Is there some sort of correlation here?
    Would love to hear your thoughts and insights.

  7. The video, actually finding your wedsite, has been a God send. I’m at a point in life where my life as it is, is not enough. Where my whole existence is fighting me trying to get me to be the person i should be and can be. I have lived in lack because of my mindset, which was conditioned from struggle.
    People always speak of so much faith in my abilities and i was never able to see it. God has been working on me hard and my eyes are opening. Now I’m like, “I have to find away to release the things that keep me blinded”.
    your site has been helping so much!

  8. Kathy, thank you for what you do. You have already made an amazing impact in my life after only 1 webinar and your “letting go” video. Where have you been all my life???!!!

  9. It is fascinating I have stumbled upon your help at this juncture in my career journey. I have just left a 20 year corporate career, one which for the most part I did love, and when I left I was earning a substantial salary and was highly respected by my colleagues. However, I recognised a while ago I was not happy, took 2 weeks self selected stress leave last year was looking to move on then took an internal opportunity thinking it was what I needed. It wasn’t, I did the job well and for the most part it seems those around were impressed with how well in such a short time, however it left be unfulfilled and I was procrastinating. To be fair if I reflect I have been procrastinating with work for some time now, leaving things to last minute then pulling it off, I had always thought that this was a skill of mine as I remember doing this in English class with assignments, yet after listening to your video blog today I now challenge that thinking. In any case I am now on the journey to discover what I want to do, I want to be happy in what I do and balance the need to be there from young family & my husband but I feel a little lost in everything right now as for better or worse I have decided to make this enormous career change, sell two houses and move town as well as my husband making his our enormous career change all at the same time! I know I need to focus on re-establishing myself and hope now I have found you your help may get me there. Thanks.

  10. I have always wanted to find the work that I love. I have never known what that would look like. I feel I have gone through life taking steps hoping to eventually figure it out. I went to college for Engineering because I was good in math and science and it seemed logical but I was unsure. Through college I just kept marching along and obtained my degree. I landed a good job and did well, but still wasn’t sure it was the right work for me. I have modified and changed my career twice, to pre-sales engineering and then to sales. Each time I still maintained some ‘technical’ aspect to my job but still don’t feel I am doing the work that would make me happy, that I could be passionate about, that I could excel at. I am open to this but have never known how to uncover and discover it. I have hired career coaches and still did not get to the right career. I have done assessments and taken all the popular personality profils (DISC, MyersBriggs, Johnson O’Connor, etc) I am working through your most recent your program with the hope that it will help me learn more about myself and my passions and the type of work I need to pursue. I have been out of work so getting a job is very important but I also don’t want to take another job I hate. If I can hold on a bit and really figure this out, then I can target and focus and pursue a better career. I accept that I may not get it right the first time, but with effort, I know if I understand what I should do, I will make it happen. Passion drives action. Thanks for your program. I look forward to this process and really hope I can finally identify what I should be doing and NOT doing.

  11. Thanks Kathy,

    I am following your site and the 6 lessons from Amazing Career Challenge you generously give out for free.
    For the past 5 years I found myself in difficult situations at work. The reason I believe is that I am not able to cope with unfair or illogical ground and though I always ask my manager to shed more light on these situations, and clarify and communicate to the whole team, when not done, in time I end up reacting to these situations.
    As one can expect reactions are not welcomed at work (I got laid off 4 times in a row!).

    I am stuck as I don’t really see on one hand how to let go of what I believe is logical thinking and on the other hand it seems I am not able to work (and deliver – I work as a BA / PM) if I am placed in unnecessarily complicated and illogical environments (double stuck as in overly complicated and illogical environment I freeze and I am not able to learn as well – learning has always been a major driver for me).

    I am that type of person that would rather have the privilege of hearing an uncomfortable and hurting truth than a silly lie that does not make sense…. I feel comfort in rational truth. And if it comes from Managers then I tend to accept it, as I believe strongly in hierarchy. Unfortunately that means that people should be able to expose themselves with pride and be able to own even the ugly part of themselves (we are all a little ugly, I guess). This doesn’t usually happen in one’s private life, can you imagine at work? Impossible!

    What to do? What is it that I am overlooking? I am sure I am missing something here…There must be a way for me to overcome this. I need to work as I am a single woman. I need to overcome this issue!

  12. Hi Kathy,
    I am a single mother who is a high school English teacher. I moved cross-country to help my teenage daughter achieve her dreams. I now teach in a state that has failing schools and reluctant and even hostile students. I do not enjoy teaching anymore, and I start dreading going to work on Sunday morning. I used to love the creativity and energy of what I do, but after 15 years of fighting to get kids to want a better life, I am empty. I cry everyday and have even been hospitalized. I do not know what to do to escape the profession. I want a happy, fulfilling career, but feel paralyzed at how to change professions and still be able to provide for myself and my daughter. Any words of wisdom when you are the only money maker and responsible for a child?

  13. I love this. Truly something that keeps me thinking.
    Thanks Kathy for sharing this insights – you are truly an inspiration to many career women around the world.
    I adore what you’re doing – I also love writing since I was a kid. But due to “money matters” I had to let it go and pursue a career in IT Industry. Then few months ago, I realized that I am not happy – it drains my energy, stressed me out and made me sick a lot. Your advice really rings out to me well and I will commit myself from this day forward to start doing what I love. 🙂

  14. Thanks so much for your comments and feedback, Janica. I’m thrilled to hear that you will – from this day forward – commit to doing what you love, and creating life in the vision of your highest, happiest self! Keep us posted, and here’s to an amazing 2016 to you.

  15. “Step back for an empowered perspective” reminds me of “you can only see the mountain from the plain” – so you cannot really see this mountain of what drains you unless you mentally step away from it.

    Some people might say that in identifying what you want more of, you are opening yourself up to opportunities from “the universe”. But you are also clearing the draining and unhealthy things from your mind – even if it’s just temporary – so that you actually CAN see other opportunities. The negative stuff blinds us a bit, or at least interferes with a better view.

    So thanks Kathy, for posting this.

  16. Hi Kathy,
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I loved this video on letting go what you hate to make room for what you love.
    I’m a substitute teacher and personal trainer who is passionate about empowering women to become more confident, self-reliant and to reach their potential. This is a recent realization and would love to give workshops and possibly seminars one day.
    I was born with a chronic medical condition which requires me to receive blood transfusions every three weeks. Growing up, doctors and nurses believed Thalassemia patients would not be able to live past their 20 or 30’s. With the introduction of an iron chelator we. An lead a normal life (if we adhere to our chelation). My nurse told me though in my young 20’s that I could never be an athlete due to my condition. I proved her wrong. I train hard, eat clean and live as though I do not have a chronic medical condition. Now I want to empower women.
    I’m not a fan of having a boss or getting up to go to work (school). I feel more at peace when I have my mornings and get productive on my own time. Is this pure laziness or is it something I should take into consideration for examining my career options?
    Thank you so much for your wisdom.

    Antonietta Mannarino

  17. Hi Kathy, Thanks so much for this. I am on day 2 of your Amazing Career Challenge. I’m a recent college grad (we share an alma mater, Fairfield U!) who, at 24, is having trouble moving on from my first job in journalism. I’m ready for something different, but I just can’t figure out WHAT that “different” is. I’m currently scrambling to apply to as many grad school programs as I can think of, and yet it’s not making me happy. I feel stuck and limited. I suppose I need focus, but I am having trouble aligning my thoughts in a straight line. Hopefully some clarity will come post-day 8 of your challenge. Thank you, Maria

  18. My name is Ms.Pearl, I have a business admin degree and plenty of working experience (10 years of management/coordinator experience). I was a Human Resource Manager for 5 1/2 years at a First Nation Band. I was laid off due to restructuring. I thought I liked my job (for the most part) diligently arriving at work half hour earlier then we had to, opening up office and leaving late to finish up. Sometimes putting in 40 hours overtime during the month. Sadly, there was a heap of political interference in all the departments and program managers were constantly micromanaged. There was too much double standards applied to staff over and over again. Policies were not applied consistently and fairly to everyone because of politics. I alwasy felt like I was constantly fighting a losing battle. My belief is that every person has value and worth and the personnel policy should be followed, no matter what. Employees must be treated with dignity, equity, fairness and compassion. HR department gives the employee an avenue to voice their concerns and HR mediates concerns. However, HR was seen as the person in the way of decisions. The way I seen it, every department is dependent on each other in order to meet the strategic goal of the First Nation organization, (which of course encourages team building). For as long as I worked there HR goals or plans were never in line with strategic plans because we were always left in the dark. Countless hours of policy revisions went unnoticed and not important enough to be brought to the table. I was discouraged, losing self esteem, losing sleep, stressed and feeling like I was on a treadmill, doing the same thing over and over, year after year with no success. With new leadership elected last year, I had hope, only to be disappointed again. This time, I saw it coming, and I wasn’t that surprised. I was happy I was “terminated without cause”. It could have been worse like making me miserable on the job in order that I quit instead. Although, I shuddered to think it meant no more money coming in. I was also hurt and felt betrayed. My career hit a rut and my self confidence took a beating. My severance run out. I am now waiting for employment insurance with bills to pay and no money. I did the first part of your career challenge, dissecting all my jobs and realized, my last job was my worse job! Oh my, what an eye opener. Where do I go from here? Thanks Kathy.

    1. So sorry to hear you’ve faced these challenges, Eunice. The best advice I can give is to get the help you need to understand more clearly what you have to offer, and also analyze why these particular challenges have occurred and what you might be doing to sustain or attract these negative situations, and how to overcome this once and for all so you can find yourself again, and muster the confidence and self-esteem to move forward in an empowered way. Do check out my Amazing Career Project online course which will help you do all that. The enrollment period ends Sunday, March 12th but it’s a powerfully transformative experience that walks members through the 16 critical steps of building a more rewarding and satisfying life and career. Here’s more about it: Hope to see you in the course!

  19. OK I am finally going to quit officially from a company. I have not actually worked for them for over a year, but I had not officially resigned and so they classified me as seasonal.I was kind of surprised to know that they still had me on the books. I guess I thought that if I still had that thread then when looking for employment i could say yes I was employed rather than unemployed. BUt is actually hurt me when I applied for health care, as the state chose to claim that I was employed and not eligible for Medicaid or affordable health care insurance for broke people. ANd yet, I could not just quit. Now a few days ago I got a call to decide to either just not be on their list as seasonal – cut the ties- or take a show and start working with them again. Thinking about makes me cringe. It took me a year to get over doing this job and thinking about doing it makes me cringe, but I could use the money, but then I feel so drained and no even good at it and miserable… but I have been hanging out in purgatory not really claiming this job and not really severing the ties. I mean i cannot even call the supervisor to even as for a recommendation. I cannot stand him and I cannot even deal with the HR guy- because I want a reference

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