Today, I’d like to talk about something I haven’t shared publicly in writing very much before — mostly only with my private clients and course members — but it feels vitally important to discuss now given what I’m hearing and seeing in hundreds of conversations over the past year and a half.

So many talented professionals and leaders today are carrying intense fear, uncertainty, constriction, shame, and self-doubt about their work and future. And in many cases, they’re interpreting what’s happening as personal failure.

But I don’t believe that’s the full or accurate story.

I’ve often spoken in my courses and workshops and with my clients about the idea that “everything is energy.” By that, I mean that what we think, believe, suppress, fear, and hold emotionally about ourselves and our lives doesn’t stay hidden internally. It affects how we show up, communicate, lead, connect, decide, and engage with the world around us.

Our inner state impacts our outer experience much more than most of us realize. Not because we magically ‘cause’ every outcome in our lives, but because our emotional and nervous-system states profoundly shape how we perceive, respond, communicate, connect, and move through challenge.

And during periods of massive disruption and uncertainty — like we’re experiencing now — fear energy becomes even stronger and more pervasive. I’m seeing it everywhere among professionals today, particularly those navigating layoffs, toxic work environments, stalled advancement, leadership upheaval, career reinvention, or repeated rejection in difficult job markets.

If you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), this impact can feel even more profound. HSPs can process information and emotional dynamics from their environments more deeply than others, often absorbing the stress, instability, and emotional tone around them almost like a sponge. (Here’s more about how being an HSP has impacted me.)

I’m seeing that for many people, continual exposure to fear and uncertainty around us can begin to distort how we see ourselves and our futures. 

For example, I’ve spoken with people who’ve gone through seven or eight rounds of interviews for roles they ultimately didn’t land. By the end, they feel devastated and ashamed.

They conclude:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
“I’m failing.”
“I’m losing my edge.”
“I’ll never get a good job again.”

But when I gently ask:
“Truthfully — did you genuinely, in your heart, want this role?”

Very often the answer is:
“Well… no. Not really. But I felt I had to pursue it.”

That distinction matters enormously.

Because if, deep down, your system is saying “no” to something — even while your logical mind is insisting “I have to make this work” — that internal conflict affects how you show up. Fear, hesitation, self-protection, resentment, exhaustion, imposter feelings, and lack of alignment all communicate something emotionally, energetically and behaviorally, whether we realize it or not.

And often, the outcomes we experience mirror that inner conflict.

This doesn’t mean we “manifest failure” or should blame ourselves for difficult outcomes we’re experiencing. Not at all. There are enormous structural, economic, technological, and organizational shifts happening right now that are impacting millions of people.

But I do believe many career struggles contain important information beneath the surface that we’re missing when we immediately collapse into shame and negative self-judgment.

This is where the framework I’m developing and using in coaching today, around four core forces and dimensions, becomes important.

They are:

Identity
Protection
Direction
Expression

These four areas of exploration can help us understand what may truly be happening underneath the fear, disappointment, or uncertainty we’re experiencing.

Identity

First, in disrupted times like these, it’s even more important that we reconnect more deeply with who we actually are — not just professionally, and not what we want to “appear” to be, but internally.

Some questions to explore:
What do you truly value?
What are your deepest strengths and talents that have helped others?
What environments encourage you to thrive?
What kind of work drains and demoralizes you?
What have your past experiences taught you?
What fears, shame, wounds, or disappointments are you carrying that may still be shaping your decisions today?

Many professionals I work with are still unconsciously defining themselves through old pain:
– a layoff
– a toxic, demeaning boss
– a failed business
– a difficult childhood dynamic
– being passed over or overlooked
– being told they were “too much” or “not enough.”

But painful experiences are not necessarily evidence of inadequacy. Often they are feedback, redirection, awakening, or invitations to deeper understanding.

Protection

Here is a powerful question to ask yourself:

Could this current challenge actually be revealing something that I need to see and that needs to change — something I may not have fully allowed myself to acknowledge before now?

In other words:
How might this situation, which on the face of it seems so hard, be actually protecting you from deeper unhappiness, misalignment, depletion, or pain?

For example, perhaps you’ve been working in an extremely unhealthy organizational culture for years, pushing yourself relentlessly to succeed in an environment that fundamentally violates your values and emotional well-being.

You’ve told yourself you “have no choice” but to endure it.

But what if this disruption is finally forcing you to confront the truth that this path is no longer sustainable for you?

Or perhaps you relocated for a role that looked ideal on paper, only to realize both the job and the environment feel profoundly wrong for who you are and how you want to live.

Initially, this can feel humiliating. People often experience intense shame around “making the wrong decision.”

But when we explore it more deeply together, many recognize something important: they weren’t actually aligned with this life or this move. They were trying to force themselves into a life that ultimately didn’t fit. And they learned a great deal about themselves from this experience.

Once the shame and sense of “failure” softens, they often begin to feel something surprising underneath it, including relief, possibility, excitement and truth.

Direction

One of the most important questions we can ask during difficult periods is this:

What is your inner system actually trying to tell you right now?

Not your fear, social pressure, or what you think you “should” want. But your deeper self.

Because sometimes what appears externally as breakdown or failure is actually an invitation into a different direction entirely — one that may ultimately fit you more honestly and fully.

That doesn’t mean the transition is easy. It’s often very challenging, emotionally and otherwise. But if you stopped interpreting disruptions as proof that you’re failing, what new possibilities might you finally allow yourself to consider?

Expression

Ultimately, many career struggles are not simply about achievement or strategy. They’re about expression.

Are you living and working as your real self? Or as a version of yourself you adopted in order to feel safe, successful, accepted, or worthy?

This isn’t about forced positivity or pretending painful realities don’t exist. And it’s certainly not about bypassing genuine grief, fear, or uncertainty.

It’s about examining the interpretations you’re placing on what’s happening. Can you reframe this moment in a way that is equally truthful but more expansive, compassionate, and possibility-oriented?

Is it possible to view this chapter not as evidence of failure at all, but part of a deeper redirection toward something more aligned, meaningful, and life-affirming?

I know this work is not easy to do alone. Often, we can’t fully see our own patterns, fears, protections, or blind spots from inside them.

But I do believe many people today are standing at profound turning points, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet.

And sometimes, as my two books – Breakdown, Breakthrough and The Most Powerful You explore, what initially feels like a total breakdown can actually be the beginning of a powerful, life-affirming breakthrough of becoming more fully yourself – the way you’ve wanted to be for a long time but couldn’t find the courage or strength.

_____________________________

Other Recommended Articles

5 Clear Signs It’s Time To Explore A New Job Or Direction

9 Career Blind Spots That Quietly Hold Professionals Back (and How to Address Them)

3 Powerful Questions To Help You Make a Critical Decision

Midlife Career Dissatisfaction? 4 Steps to Find Clarity and Direction