This week, a wonderful participant in my Amazing Career Project group coaching intensive shared a quote that made me stop in my tracks. It was this:

“Be kind – for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” – Wendy Mass

That quote struck me hard and gave me a pang.  I realized only after reading it that I’ve forgotten this truth, and I haven’t been my  highest self this week (or this month).

I  hear from hundreds of people a week, and often, they’re urgently in need of help and advice. Sometimes, when people are sad, beleaguered, and challenged, they can be harsh.  They lose their softness, gentleness and patience, and they forget to be respectful and kind. And I know when I’m going through deep challenges, my patience wears thin and I’m more easily annoyed and angered. I’m not the person I want to be.

When my first post when viral on Forbes a few years ago, I was floored at the 300 emails I received a day for a week from people needing help. They often demanded my advice, without a thank you or a kind word. But after this happened several more times, I finally figured it out: when our cup is empty and we’re deeply afraid, we often lose our ability to be compassionate and caring for others.

My work allows me a special window into people’s lives (and souls), and I’ve found that when you “peel the onion” you’ll find this to be invariably true – every single person on this planet is fighting some kind of battle, some kind of challenge, trauma or situation that we know nothing about. And if we knew about it, our heart would soften. We’d be more compassionate, caring, and understanding. We’d want to help.

I find it beneficial in my life and work to remember this – what we see of people is not the whole story, not by a long shot. As a friend shared recently, “I wish my life were as wonderful as my Facebook page makes it look.” So true – what’s going on behind the scenes and in our hearts isn’t what we show the world.  We don’t let on what’s really going on – how scared and confused we feel, or let down by life. Sometimes we don’t even let ourselves see what’s really going on.

If someone in your life is acting unkind, I hope you’ll think about the hidden battle that they’re going through, and find it in your heart to be understanding and empathetic. I know when I stop and remember this, my load becomes lighter, I feel better, and my path to joyful work and living is a bit smoother.

What’s the hidden battle that you’re struggling with today, and can you reach out to someone who can help?

(To build a more joyful life and career, visit kathycaprino.com and take my 6-Day Amazing Career Challenge.)