What are the easiest ways to spot an ineffective career coach who won’t be helpful in moving you forward?
This week I heard from a lovely woman in another state who shared with me a story about a career coach she hired this year. This coach, in the end, was of no help at all. I have to say, if I’ve heard this once, I’ve heard it one hundred times.
The coach had her take a battery of expensive assessment tests, and the results showed that she was in the perfect job for herself. The problem is, she’s very unhappy in this profession of 30 years, and wants out (for a variety of well-founded reasons). He also told her that due to her age (she’s in late midlife), she’ll have a hard time reinventing and finding a new job. Wow, thanks a lot for the motivation and inspiration, sir! While it’s certainly true that reinventing in midlife has it deep challenges (I should know), where there’s a will, there’s a way.
I experienced a similar thing 10 years ago with a career counselor I hired. At 40 years old, I felt sick, miserable, and depressed at my current line of work and job, which was marketing and product management for a leading membership services organization. I had been in membership services for years, and lost all interest in it. I deeply longed for a new career direction, but couldn’t figure out what to do.
After hundreds of dollars, several meetings, and a series of standardized assessment tests, the career counselor said, “Well, looks like your current job is perfect for you and meets all your needs.”
Are you kidding??? If it met all my needs, why do I want to poke my eye out with a stick! Why do I hate it so much, and why am I “breaking down” from the stress, exhaustion, crushing competition, and lack of connection to my work?
The reason he arrived at the conclusion that my job was right for me involved his constricted perspective – an inability to think expansively about his client’s potential and capabilities. He was looking only at the person I projected at that moment, and taking into account my outwardly-stated needs, skills, and priorities, without looking at my potential. It’s understandable that I — the client — would have a limited perspective – after all, that’s natural to feel limited and blocked when we’re stuck in a negative situation. But for the career coach to be stuck with me in this limited view? That’s just bad coaching.
What I needed was a breakthrough – a “paradigm shift” that would allow me to see how much more I was capable of than my current views and experiences allowed.
How did the coaching process go wrong?
The career coach and assessment tests I took identified my professional needs and talents as:
Wanting flexibility, family time, high pay
Avoiding extensive travel
Utilizing my well-honed marketing skills
Writing, copywriting, editing
Generating ideas and implementing new marketing strategies
Being creative – developing new products and enhancements
Leading/managing others successfully
Managing projects and budgets
Building client relationships
Nurturing ideas to fruition
Re-engineering and streamlining processes for greater efficacy
The thing he missed was that, while I was indeed tapping into various talents and skills I possess, I was pointing them in the wrong direction! The work I was focused on felt absolutely meaningless to me – or worse – harmful to the community and world. To me, what we were selling lacked any contributive value. The sole point of my job was to sell membership services and to make money – regardless of whether these services were truly needed or beneficial in people’s lives.
My career coach missed the most important aspect of what I wanted in my working life – to feel good about what I’m doing!
This coach also missed exploring three vital dimensions to a joyful and successful life and career:
– Standards of integrity – HOW you want to live and work – the process of living, not just the content of it (check out Maria Nemeth’s book The Energy of Money for more about this!)
– Life intentions – WHAT you want to create and give in my life, when all is said and done
– Life purpose – THE UNIQUE PURPOSE of your life on this planet at this time
Career coaches who don’t touch on the above aren’t going to be successful for you. They disregard the most important dimensions of your career.
My view is this – we did not come here on this planet at this time SIMPLY to pay the mortgage. Yes, we must pay our bills, and handle our finances responsibly and accountably, but each of us is much more than a bank account. We have talents, needs, perspectives, experiences, longings and gifts that coalesce into a special amalgam – the essence of you and what you want to give through your professional identity and endeavors.
So the next time you are looking for a career coach, please do me a favor…check out exactly what he/she will be helping you achieve – is it a new job that fits outwardly but leaves you feeling cold and depressed? Or is it a career/job that you can sink your teeth into, that brings you passion, power, and purpose, and lets you connect with the most expansive version of yourself, each and every day?
And don’t let a career coach work on your resume and social media profiles WITHOUT knowing who you really are on the inside, and what you care to give and be in the world. If you create a new resume and direction without understanding and honoring the essence of you, you’ll waste precious time and money. Trust me on this one!
Share your stories!
I’d LOVE to hear from you about this issue. Have you also had disappointing experiences with career coaches? If so, what did they miss or how did they steer you wrong? And on the contrary, have you had great experiences with a career coach? Please comment here about what you’ve learned, so others can benefit from your experiences! Thanks SO much for your feedback.
Here’s to a breakthrough this summer that brings you to the professional life you long for!
As always, excellent post! Like most things, there are a lot of good coaches to choose from. A recommendation alone doesn’t work. One person might rave about their coaching session with me and another run the other way. It’s how the individual and the coach connect that will make or break their success. I like to use my own intuition as I listen and get to know a client and not rely on a set of standardized tests. In the end, my goal is to help the client discover the direction they want to go and then help them get there.
Thanks, Joanne, for your great feedback. So true – lots of good coaches to choose from, and as I learned in both coaching and my marriage and family therapy training, helping others is all about the relationship – building rapport and connection, and empowerment, and supporting the client to be all she wishes to be. When I’m first speaking with a potential client, I share my list of five “good fit” client characteristics that need to be present in order for our coaching partnership to work. It’s helpful to know and communicate those “ideal fit” characteristics with prospective clients, so there’s a reduced chance of disappointment or failed expectations. Thanks for your thoughts, and all best with your coaching!
Before I worked with a coach for the first time, I interviewed 3 of them and went w/ the one who felt right. I liked her attitude, approach & enthusiasm. Since then I’ve worked w/ several others, and my personal feeling is that these coaches didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, BUT having an objective outsider pose thoughtful questions and force me to examine certain aspects of my career was invaluable. There’s also something to be said for paying your hard-earned money for coaching — I was going to make darn sure I got something out of it! And each time, I did. It still feels a bit like magic, even though, like I said, there were no huge, shocking insights revealed. But if it works, it works, and that’s all I care about. 🙂
Hi Abby. Thanks for your feedback, and I’m with you. If it works, it works! Glad you had a positive coaching experience (and a little magic sprinkled in too!). Kathy
I’ve never had someone who was specifically designated as a coach, but I’ve taken several career tests. Most only ask you “What do you think of yourself?” for the most part. The one that actually helped me was one that just tested me without asking me how I perceived myself. I think that the rule, at its most basic, is that if a coach/assessor just asks you vague questions about what you already know, there probably is not going to be any magic, and you’re probably going to leave without any further clarification. The people who have helped me discover the most are ones who ask seemingly basic and factual questions that end up leading me to deeper realizations/clarifications, not the ones who say, “I’m here to help you figure out what you like. So… what do you like?
Hi Benny – thanks for your note. Interesting comments. Truth be told, there are a lot of coaches out there who don’t know how to help you discover what you want if you don’t already know it.
I’ve found after doing this nine years that there’s great skill and art to it — skill in knowing how to craft the line of questioning and discussion so that it’s insight-producing and “aha!” making. “Art” is required in knowing how to “read” one’s energy and the underlying messages beneath what the person is saying in words. My training as a psychotherapist and energy worker has been invaluable in my coaching because I understand what is being “said” through a variety of different clues that bring to light the person’s true essence, values, priorities, fears, obstacles and dreams. All of this is vitally important as part of the picture of what the individual truly wants to create in the next chapter. Please do take my Career Path Assessment and tell me what you think about these questions! Do they move you forward? Let me know. To me, these are the questions that I wished someone had asked me 20 years ago when I was crafting my career path. Thanks for sharing, and all best!
I recently spent over a thousand dollars on career coaching and am very disappointed by the result.
In some ways my coach was amazing – she was insightful, empowering and caring. She did offer provide one useful strategy that helped me make significant progress in the job search.
But career-changing is a complex beast. I’m making a massive shift, and a coach needs to be not only encouraging but brilliant at helping clients identify all the best possible concrete steps or approaches in the job search and constantly redeveloping the action plan as opportunities play out.
But our sessions were very unstructured and client-led, like my coach was not doing thorough information-gathering and didn’t know what questions or key updates to ask about. There was no interview prep, no resume feedback, no suggestions about what type of experience to gain and how to gain it.
I’m now coming on four months of unemployment and feel just as lost as I was, if not more so, than I did when I started coaching.
I like what you said about life purpose. A job doesn’t have to be your sole life purpose, but it should be a major contributor. I’ve been thinking about hiring a job coach lately, and I definitely would want one who can understand my life’s purpose.