Someone (I can’t remember who unfortunately) recently shared with me the saying, “Turn your mess into a message.”
I simply love that – perhaps because without realizing it, I’ve been doing that for a full eight and a half years since 9/11, and since I woke up and decided to transform my (messy) life and career. I had, and still have, a good deal of mess to transform into messages!
This week, I had a powerful shifting realization, thanks again to my dear friend and financial consultant Denise Hughes, that one of my most intractable “messes” is around my resistance to “ease.” Ease is not something that has been a part of my professional identity or life. In my twenty-seven years as a contributive professional, there’s been nothing easy about it.
Sure, I’ve achieved things I’m very proud of and excited about, and I’ve met many of my large goals. But still – I can’t say that any of it came “easily.” No way, no how.
This week, as I was exploring the idea of ease and why I resist it so fiercely, I had a very painful memory flash. It was of my early teen life. I recalled clearly how someone close to me used to say to me (and to everyone else) in a very critical and hateful tone, “Everything comes so easily to Kathy.” This person used to brandish those words like a weapon, as if it were a terrible thing to have an easy life, and that it simply wasn’t fair, because her life was hard. The implication was that God shined his light on me, and cruelly bypassed her, leaving her thwarted and miserable.
As I tossed that memory around in my mind, I experienced the real ‘aha’- I realized that all these years – my whole 49 years on this planet — I’ve internalized the belief that if things come easily to me, then I don’t deserve them. Wow…
Believing I’m not deserving of ease has two damaging aspects – first, deep down, it tricks me into believing that I don’t deserve all the good that I’ve created or attracted, and 2) it traps me in a fearful place, worried that others will judge me negatively, hold me apart from themselves, be envious of me, and think I am not worthy of what I have.
Well…I can tell you that as of this minute, I’m DONE with my resistance to ease. Done, gone, finished. I’m shifting it consciously. Be gone!
Here’s what my spirit knows to be true – When things come easily, it means you are in the flow – of life, of yourself, of your soul and spirit. It’s not a bad thing that things come easily to you. It’s supposed to be easy. When you have ease, it means that you have consciously and completely given up your resistance to ease, and your attachment to struggle.
Each day, I receive an inspirational email message from a neat group – Mike Dooley’s TUT Adventurers Club – and recently got this message worth savoring and embracing:
“Kathy, it’s supposed to be easy. Everything is supposed to be easy. Everything is easy. You live in a dream world. You’re surrounded by illusions, and the illusions change when you change your thinking!
Tell yourself it’s easy. Tell yourself often. Make it a mantra. Eat, sleep, and breathe it. And your life shall be transformed.
It’s supposed to be easy.”
I’d add this – if ease is not your experience, there’s most likely something blocking you from believing you deserve or want ease. Please take the time this week to dig deep and explore what might be keeping you from believing you can and will have ease from this moment forward, and that having ease is what you deserve. You are strong enough to have ease, and to handle the envy of others who don’t.
Ease is beautiful, perfect, and as it should be, for you and for me. Let’s allow it into our lives, together, now.