This Sunday, we buried my father-in-law. He died suddenly, out of the blue, in a matter of minutes. His body just shut down, and he left the planet. He had been in a nursing home for only 6 weeks.
As with any major event in one’s life, a death in the family creates a gap in space and time, in which you’re pushed to take stock, and look long and hard at your own life to see where it’s heading and the impact it’s having.
Watching the end point of life unfold, some things went through my mind about life, and what it is to live a “successful” one.
Here’s what came to me:
1) Our lives are a vast accumulation of all that we’ve said, done, made others feel, encouraged others to do, and of what we’ve left behind – fragments of energy and light that have made a mark.
2) Success in life can be determined by answering these questions – “Did you, by and large, experience joy, love and support, give it in return? Did you learn (and overcome) what you came here to learn? And did your life have a positive impact?
3) When you leave the planet, will you be missed? If so, it’s probably because of cherished qualities you helped others see in themselves (their beauty, value, brilliance, capability, goodness) that they couldn’t see on their own.
4) Finally, what’s the meaning of life? I certainly don’t have the answers, but I do know this…we have this precious chance, these 80 or so years, to live life full out, without regrets, without shame, without reservation — to experience all of the life, love, joy, passion, and courage we can, and to be all that we came here to be.
I’m determined not to waste this chance.
Wishing you and yours a joyous Thanksgiving.
Hi, Kathy. I hope you and your family have a great holiday. It’s been a whirlwind for sure. I’m sorry to hear about your father in law, but as Arthur said to me when we were talking about it, “everything happens in its own time and for its own reason.”
Enjoy and don’t eat too much stuffing!!!! Save some room for the pie!!
First of all, my condolances to you and your family during this time. Saying good-bye to someone who was loved can be one of the hardest experiences in life. I am sure you have many memories that will keep him alive in your heart.
Second, I just have to say that the fact that you had this going on and were able to show up so warm, professional and present for me during our coaching session on Monday speaks volumes for who you are as a person and a coach. I had no idea that you had such a major life event taking place on your side of the phone. Thank you for the gift you have given me as my coach, mentor and friend.
Have a very happy Thanksgiving. We all have SO much to be Thankful for, don’t we!?
Hugs,
Nicola
Thanks so much, Nicola. What a beautiful note. I’ll treasure it. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks so much, Vivian. Appreciate your loving words, and indeed it’s the truth – all happens in its own time and for its own reasons. Enjoy your holiday!
Happy Thanksgiving Kathy to you and yours. My heartfelt condolences of your Father-in-law’s passing. I am sorry to hear of the sudden-ness of it, the surprise must be difficult to process. Your words of what to experience while in this life are very inspiring.
Recently I lost a dear friend after a long battle with cancer. As difficult as it was to experience the slow demise of her life, it brought to bare the opportunity we all have for a deep intimacy and connection, while we are here together, that we don’t always seek or find. The depth of intimacy connecting with someone that knows they are dying is nothing short of pure raw-ness, nakedness, vulnerability in it’s deepest sense. I am sorry you didn’t have that time with your father-in-law, due to it’s sudden-ness…a deeper reminder to us of how precious our lives are, moment-by-moment.
Thank you for your words of inspiration to guide us, while we are here together, towards what matters. I am Thankful our paths have crossed and that we’re able to stay connected in spirit.
Blessings to you and yours,
Donna
Hello, Kathy. Sending a hug for your loss & I agree, experiencing a loss opens our heart to greater depths of gratitude for the love and goodness in Life. Today I’m counting my blessings and wanted to thank you for sharing your life. We met just once but your joyful spirit is felt in all your communications. I wish you and your family a love filled Thanksgiving! Alexandra
Thanks, Alexandra, for your lovely note. Means a great deal! Happy holidays to you and yours. Kathy
Donna, I so appreciate your beautiful comments. Thank you. Intimate, compassionate connection with others is what makes life rich and full indeed. I’m sorry to hear you lost your dear friend to cancer, but from what you share, you connected with her so deeply, and helped her on her way – what a blessing and gift to you both. Thank you for all your support over these past years. So happy to be connected. Kathy