In the past two months, I’ve had more than a handful of clients who are dealing with some intense emotional conflicts with others. In fact, I’ve had one or two interpersonal interactions myself that left me reeling. What do these challenges mean when they appear in our lives?
From my view, they mean that fear is playing a major, active role in driving behavior – yours or those you are dealing with. It’s time to let the fear go and put it to rest.
Fear puts us into an intensive reactive mode – a suffocating, tight corner from which we feel we can’t emerge without our dukes up and defenses ready to engage full throttle. But living from this fear place only engenders more fear, more conflict, and more resistance – in short, misery. The only way out of this perpetual cycle is to stop fearing – and start having full faith and trust– in yourself and in your higher power and highest self, to begin acting from your heart so that you can lose the need to continually tap your arsenal of defensive responses.
Let’s do this exercise to help let go of the fear that is most active in your life today:
1) Take three deep, down-to-the-stomach breaths – relaxing more deeply each time in you inhale and exhale
2) Bring to your mind’s eye the major interpersonal conflict you’re having today. See it and feel it clearly. Who does it involve? What do they want, and what do you want in this situation? What are you truly struggling about?
3) Now envision an ideal resolution to this conflict – what does it look like, and how would you know you’ve achieved a resolution? What would be different in your life, in your relationship, in your emotions?
4) Take three more deep breaths, and ask yourself, “What is my deepest fear about having this beautiful resolution come to pass? What am I most afraid of here?”
Write out your answers to this question about what you fear, and take some time to explore in your mind, heart and soul what you really want.
Do you want to win at all costs, and continue to live from fear, or do you want to follow your heart with this individual, and do what feels really good to you?
Let go of your fear – the space it creates will bring to you new experiences and emotions that are not fear-based, but heart- and soul-based. You’ll see an enormous difference in your life and your relationships when you trust yourself and your higher self’s intuition about what it’s time to let go of.
What fear will you commit to letting go of today?